am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i think my mom watched the whole time
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
