So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
he just fucked me for my cheese..
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
