Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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