Whod you bang
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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