I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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