what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
are you so shy because you have an std?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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