I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
