White coat. Heels.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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