Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
