Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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