I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
