You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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