dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
