my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
