It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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