Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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