At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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