escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
