actually, I'm a sock model
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
