I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
