I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
