I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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