he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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