after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
