yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
