I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I deserve this hangover.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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