I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
