So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
