Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
