it wasn't lemon gatorade
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize