Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
