No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
