how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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