Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
