Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
