I'm drive I can fine osifer
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
