if only i could text you this smell
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
