So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he was CRYING into my vagina
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
