somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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