This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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