So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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