I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize