you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
