Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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