Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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