All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
