Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
