I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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