whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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