so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
