if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
