I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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