The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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