3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My hand turned me down
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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