I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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