I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
