just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
